ATTACHED is the manual we wish we had when we were dating.There’s a lot of misinformation out there about dating and relationships—and myths that simply aren’t true.However, an incredible body of knowledge does exist about relationships, and it’s called Attachment science.

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If you’re single and looking for the right partner, this information can set you on the right track from the very get go since you can learn how to figure out a potential partner’s attachment style early on and find the right match.

But, importantly, it is also useful for those who are already in a “mismatched” relationship because we can learn to become more secure.

One of the dating myths you discuss is game-playing.

You say that playing games will attract the exact wrong type of person. And is laying all your cards on the table up front really practical?

When out on a date, expressing your needs early on is key to finding the right match.

Game-playing is something that many avoidants resort to naturally as a way to keep you at a distance.

If you go along with this strategy even though what you truly crave is consistency and stability, you may end up attracting someone who doesn’t feel comfortable with being too close.

There’s nothing wrong with wearing your heart on your sleeve by saying “I need someone who’s there for me and that I can rely on” or “my parents were always very close to each other.

That’s what I’m looking for in a relationship.” The response will speak volumes as to your partner’s ability to address your needs now and in the future.

Think about it: if you were interviewing people to fill in a position at work, would you ask indirect questions and avoid asking crucial ones just so they will take the job?

Now think about this position that you’re trying to fill. What are a few “smoke signals” that people can be on the lookout for when they’re dating that may indicate whether a person has an Avoidant or Anxious attachment style?