By sat about waiting I mean hosted a photo shoot in the ER. There are roughly 50 pictures of me in a wheelchair pointing at my leg, licking my insurance card and befriending Tanisha who was also waiting for a friend. As per Liz they have a 'no drunk bitches in the ER rule'. I demanded a friend and finally for fear of a drunken rampage they let me have one.

We eventually figured it out and got checked in and thus sat about waiting.

After a few drinks, my date begins to flirt with the bartender.

One of the best gifts in life is to love someone with all your heart.

But the best experienced of a lifetime is loving someone and getting that love back in return.

Love can move mountains, it can do wonders for people, it can even blind some senses, but in the end its that butterfly feelings that you cannot explain when you’re with that person.

We arrived at the ER in a cab and I was immediately put into a wheelchair. Internet, it was not a halter top style and the nurse laughed so hard at me she almost wet her pants. First I took my temperature with the machine on the wall (an orderly walking by stopped, called me weird, and left) and then Liz went through my purse looking for a chapstick.

Liz took control of steering me as the staff clearly wanted no part of our shenanigans. Finally it was deduced that I had dislocated my kneecap (which I had told them) and needed a leg immobilizer. Instead she found two packets of instant oatmeal I had thrown in there for work and had forgotten about.

People, the first window you encounter in the Vegas ER is a mirror. When inebriated and in an ER there is nothing better than finding instant oatmeal in your purse. Well because now you have more props for a photoshoot. And this is how your doctor will find you: half naked (they took away my pants for the xrays, apparently I then told 3 hospital workers that my underpants were sheer), wearing a spangley shirt, lipstick freshly applied, holding a packet of instant oatmeal on either side of your head while your friend takes pictures.Apparently the check in lady is sitting behind said mirror to take your information. So much so that you will have this conversation: Me: It's a mirror! It is then they will slap on your leg brace and send you the hell home.Lady behind mirror (LBM): Hi ma'am how can I help you? And this is how I ended up back in the Palazzo, walking with crutches and hospital socks, carrying my shoes at 7AM. ' and 'you were small and angry and yelling at me from inside a potato skins bag! I could only find one loop so I figured it was a halter top style and slipped it over my head. They don't sell cigarettes and they don't make change! The nurse came by at that moment and handed me the protection vest for XRays. Let's just say they are classy and I now have the cover for my upcoming Christmas card. I asked if it was Sophie's Choice and asked for both which they did not appreciate. Apparently the tall brunette one and the blonde one were outside eating a bag of potato skins and could not be found. Apparently the phone fell into said potato skins bag and when Liz finally came into the room to meet me said the two following things:'This hospital sucks!